Back home … I have to calm my nerves …
Nowadays I always do … my days are tough 24/7 so every chance I get I spoil me.
Father was sad today … like all days … I left him sleeping in a cloud of morphine and pain …
I have to do regular stuff to feel alive …
So, This is right now …
You’d think that after spending every day for the past 5 months at hospitals, experiencing dreadful moments in various hospitals with my father dying of cancer - seeing him going through every possible procedure you can imagine, and every possible test, and actually witnessing EVERYTHING, because I have to be there translating for everybody (since father is not speaking the language) not to mention the first 2 months, before we came back to Sweden, when we were in greece, in those appalling hospitals (but those do not count as hospitals … no … those were bordellos); And today after returning from a most depressing day from a hospital that is boiling with cancer patients (it is the best hospital in the world actually for cancer cases, that is why you almost exclusively see cancer patients there) So after all that you’d think that I wouldn’t want to see another doctor, real or imaginary, while I am at home drinking my wine and eating my brie …
Yeah … you’d think that …
But no … the reality is … that these shows about hospitals are very entertaining because they are as realistic as E.T. It is all science fiction, believe me, and it makes you think you live in a magical world of science,(without the fiction) when in reality, a hardcore disease like cancer is just that … a hardcore disease, and even in the best hospital in the world you hardly find relief from pain and despair.
Ah fuck it … I didn’t mean to write so much … I was just going to post my lovely wino picture and make some murky comment about the election results … Meh …
How can I annoy you now then … ?
Oh, I know …
God Bless America!
p.s. I've post this poem here before, but I will not stop posting it ... it will appear every now and then ... just because this is exactly how I feel when I drink Cline ... So I will post it here until you know it by heart, and when you see me next time you'll say:
Know me, stranger,
For I am thy life, blood
and thy nectar.
I shall wet thy lips, parched
by the winds of deprivation.
And nourished shall be thy body,
desiccated by the scorching
inferno of temperance.
Rest thy head upon my bosom,
Lose thyself in the ecstasy of
And know me,
For I am