How to deal with loss ... face it ...
Tomorrow I am taking all my father’s belongings to the Red Cross. I am keeping his string of beads, his sun-glasses and his watch. Although I dread the idea seeing someone on the street wearing my father’s sweater, I ‘d rather have his things worn by people who need them than throw them away in the garbage.
On the 25th it is the funeral. We burry his ashes. Pointless maybe but I hope it will give me some sort of closure. Or not. I don’t know. I still don’t believe it. So I force myself to talk about it. Write about it. Even though I try not to think about it.
It is a part of my “therapy”; To achieve closure somehow.
Today I was looking at the pictures my friend Chris took this summer. The last ever pictures I have with my father. Poor pappa ... cancer ate him up in zero time. These are not happy pictures but they are the last ones he is in life. So I want to share them with you. With familly up in the North of Greece. With his friends.
In one of them he smiles a big smile … and you can see through the disease, through his pain, through his agony, through his soul. And you can see that at this moment, his smile was real. At this moment everything was okay.
This is our walk. This was one of our regular walks when my father visited Sweden, twice or thrice a year. Rain or shine we would take this walk. Stand on this pier. Feed the ducks. Chat about this and that.
And I realize now how much I enjoyed these walks.
Now I’ll have to take them alone.