August 27th, 2008

Karl Ruprecht Kroenen

Lie, lie, lie and lie again

Dear diary.

Looking for a job.

I am so tired of my CV and all the personal letters I have to write every time I apply for a job.

I am so tired of lying.

“I am a thoughtful, happy and driven individual who thinks team work is important, who LOVES to work in high tempo, who LOVES to work under pressure and LOVES to work with people and ALWAYS ready to lend a hand.”

What a crack o shit! What a load of crap!

I am none of those things!

So if honesty was important in this world and if honesty was being rewarded, this is how my CV would look like:

“I am a selfish, cranky and apathetic individual who thinks team work is for sheep and goats, who HATES to work in ANY tempo, who HATES to work under pressure, who HATES people, and is NEVER willing to lay an extra finger even if your life was depended on it!”

But nooooooooo!Honesty does not pay off now does it? So, we all have to lie to get a job, say crap about ourselves that we would never say to a real person. Things so embarrassing that we sometimes look around to see if anyone is looking.

I work well when I’m alone. Hell, I triumph in chaos and disorder, if it is MY chaos and MY disorder of course. And I am not an idiot, if I need help I ask for it. I am not THAT self-absorbed. And yes, sure, I will call 911 if you are bleeding.
I ask for directions instead of roaming pointlessly trying to find my way only by chance. And yes, I give directions if asked.

But I do work better alone!

But saying all that in an interview it wouldn’t get me anywhere would it?

So there, I have to lie, lie, lie and lie again. We are all deceitful prostitutes in a dishonest society.

The only consolation is, if you have any religious friends, you can tell them that if there is a god after all, we will ALL go to Hell!!!