March 9th, 2012

the amish years

this and that as we go along ...

Two more months on my internship and training :)
In May I'm going to be employed! 
I have decided that the first thing I'll do is buy the Camera and 2 good lenses. The second is either buy my old computer back from the ex or buy a new computer. The ONLY ( I promise you) The ONLY reason I want a stationary computer is because, when the time comes, i want to be prepared for Diablo 3!!! No other reason at all. Laptop is just fine the way I live right now. Or maybe ... should I buy an extravagant laptop? Suggestions are welcome. (THEN I will start paying back my debts)

We are spending some really nice weekends lately, the boyfriend and I. Really nice! Life is just getting better and better. I never thought that one person could make me feel so relaxed and so happy. No expectations and demands. Not really. Take me as I am. We go as we go and "life becomes perhaps worth living".
I could say a lot but I let it to the imagination. The point of this journal is not to reveal the contents of my soul. Is to take you through my journey. Boring, exiting, sad or funny. I have made some really interesting friends here. People who dared to talk to me. People with bizarre interests. People who just wanted to let out some steam. People I actually like. Misanthropes united always make good company ;)

And of course there are those who approached me for all the wrong reasons. I wish them the best and hope they find a path in life that doesn't always lead to disappointment and dead ends. Some people are meant to be together and some people are meant to be alone. Then there are those meant to think they are meant to be with some other people who think they are meant to be with some other people who as it turns out are not meant to be together at all after all ... and so on and so forth ... However, nothing is written in stone and nothing is "meant to be" really ... I'm just fucking with words. The reality is, you make your own destiny. I have changed my life completely and started ALL over from ZERO, twice already! Twice!!! Delete and rewind. If I can do it, anyone can do it! I just hope the right people meet the right people and be happy and content with life. Because if there is one thing I learnt from my father's death, is that it can be ALL taken away from you within just one summer ...
Of course you know that and I knew that ... however knowing is not the same as living it ... seeing it happening. And people around you suffer along. And some of them "break" in the proses and look elsewhere for comfort. Nothing is meant to be. We make our choices in life. I ask for more. I always ask for more. I demand complete and unimpaired devotion. And I give it back double! But that's just me ...

Ah well ...

Life is all about this and some other censored moments :)

... see you on the next entry ...


song of the day ...

Just The Right Bullets

"There is a light in the forest
There is a face in the tree
I'll pull you out of the chorus
And the first one's always free

You can never go hunting
With just a flintlock and a hound
You won't go home with a bunting
If you blow a hundred rounds

It takes much more than wild courage
Or you'll hit just the tattered clouds
You must have just the right bullets
And the first one's always free

You must be careful in the forest
Broken glass and rusty nails
If you're to bring back something for us
I have bullets for sale

Why be a fool when you can chase away
Your blind and your gloom
I have blessed each one of these bullets
And they shine just like a spoon

To have sixty silver wishes
Is a small price to pay
They'll be your private little fishes
And they'll never swim away

I just want you to be happy
That's my only little wish
I'll fix your wagon and your musket
And the spoon will have his dish

And I shudder at the thought of your
Poor empty hunter's pouch
So I'll keep the wind from your barrel
And bless the roof of your house"


song of the (past) year ...

And if I have to go, will you remember me?
Will you find someone else, while I'm away?
There's nothing for me, in this world full of strangers
It's all someone else's idea
I don't belong here, and you can't go with me
You'll only slow me down

Until I send for you, don't wear your hair that way
If you cannot be true, I'll understand
Tell all the others, you'll hold in your arms
That I said I'd come back for you
I'll leave my jacket to keep you warm
That's all that I can do

And if I have to go, will you remember me?
Will you find someone else, while I'm away?