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Karl Ruprecht Kroenen
Everything goes to hell...
More ch ch ch changes ... 
9th-Aug-2011 12:07 pm
Okay so I got into a self pity self loathing stage for a while.

It doesn't really matter what happened and I am not going to go into it here (or anywhere). Shit happens to people all the time ... But I have been in a curse mode for some time now ...
Life keeps on kicking me in the teeth, stabbing me in the back and pushing me down a pool of shit. Over and over. The moment I get up something kicks me back down, stepping on my throat. It is a third year now I can't catch a break. So I thought ... well ... maybe I should kill myself to get over with it ...

But after a few days, the fog is clear, the pain actually becomes a comfortable feeling of .... nothing ... and reality collapses in front of you revealing another reality ... Life can actually change towards ... well better (?) .... Erase and rewind. Get up again, fall down again, get back up. Eventually you will grow balls of steel and stand on them. There ARE worst thing in the world.

I can't say I will get out of this scar free, but as I said before, (before the shit actually hit the fan) I see the glass half full. Even when it is empty. And now my glass is fucking empty man ... hell there is no fucking glass. But in my darkness I am actually starting, (somewhere deep in the back of my head) to feel "excited" for the uncertainty of the future.

Suddenly I see open roads ... leading nowhere in particular ... but for now it is enough I see open roads ...

I now want to travel more than ever.
I am dreaming of Christmas in New York, Alaska, Oregon, Chicago, London, Ontario ... (wherever there is a bed for me) But if I can afford any of this it will probably be London. But a girl can dream no? Besides ... if I actually go to the States, I will probably want to stay forever ... so that's no good ...
London will do fine ... Keeping my fingers crossed!!!

By the by ... I am hoping I will have a demo finished by Halloween :D

“Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry.”

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Over and out ...

Alexandra N.S the goth years
12th-Aug-2011 05:54 am (UTC)
But you had said that in August, September maybe Ronnie would play in Greece or not? Won't you come also? Beautiful picture...

13th-Aug-2011 09:24 am (UTC)
Pay attention when I talk to you G-boy. I've told you this.
12th-Aug-2011 07:10 am (UTC)
And you said that you already had some demos. Anyway, the new demo we are waiting for. Somehow it has to come to me. Can t you send by e-mail some songs? I am sure you have sth i have never heard.

13th-Aug-2011 09:24 am (UTC)
17th-Aug-2011 09:03 pm (UTC) - reply
when one door closes another one always opens, it's actually true. take the oportunity to focus on yourself, get attainable goals and one baby step at a time and you'll be just fine. shit happens to us all, it's called life. take care.
18th-Aug-2011 09:38 am (UTC) - Re: reply
I usually do not un-screen messages from anonymous strangers, but there is a possibility you mean well, so I let it slide and answer to you.

Yes,"anonymous stranger", yes shit happens to all of us. However, a person's recovery, reaction and time of healing (if there is any healing), depends on the quantity, density and frequency of the shit.
It is all rather vague, yes? So it is hard to give advice.
Anyway, what I really wanted to say though was: Don't worry (not that you worry "anonymous stranger") I shall overcome! This time "I am out for blood"!

2nd-Sep-2011 10:10 pm (UTC) - Re: reply
i actually meant well, and sure it's harder to put yourself back together when you had more stuff happen to you in a relatively short time, recovery will happen, time will tell, maybe there's some good to come out of this experience... i really don't need to hear all details i'm mearly generalising, offering a good word...
3rd-Sep-2011 12:01 am (UTC) - Re: reply
Well I still don't like the "anonymous" thing ...
But okay ...
Thank you for your good word then ...

And although "good" does not come out of someone's death ...
some good "must" come out from the latest ... misfortune...

As I said, I am out for blood, so something's gotta give ...
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