Alexandra Norrskèn (N.S.) (lantichristo) wrote,
Alexandra Norrskèn (N.S.)

Zombies at work ...

Weird times I'm going through. Very weird.
Gods are testing me.
In all aspects.
But at work ...
I have to make a choice to be an adult during work hours. I mean for real.
Or maybe "adult" is not the right word. I have to be ... hmmm what's the opposite of misanthrope? No, not humanitarian. No, that's like super liking humans ... Being a misanthrope though it's just ... I simply do not like people. Man if I'd save a dime every time I said this ...
A friend of mine, some time ago, asked me what is it that I DON'T like about my job. Since I told him how happy I am there and how much I like it, I didn't know what to answer. I don't remember what I said then, but now after some time and being in a different position, with more responsibilities, managing an entire store with *special people and criminals , oh and foreigners who don't speak a dick Swedish, I came to the answer...
*(I've been told not to say mongo all the time, it is politically incorrect ... so I say ... special instead. But I really say mongo in my head)
For real, I do love this job. And the more I learn the more I love it. Managing an entire store, a second hand store, with unexpected merchandise, trying to organize and put everything and everyone in order, manipulate people to do good job by telling them they do a good job when they do absofuckinglutely nothing (it is a part of my job to say to the morons who work there how good they are when the only thing they can do is put their finger in their nose. I actually make them DO stuff) I love it. Create and recreate, build and rebuild the store every other week. Have new ideas on how to push and sell beautiful and ugly things. Things with sentimental value to someone. Things with money value to someone else. I love it.
But the parts that I have to deal with people ... specially people who have diarrhea for brains ... is the part I hate about it. Not the people I work with. I can "fix" them. But some costumers. There is this particular type of costumers I call
"The Zombies"! They are the type that wait outside the store for it to open. And they gather in front of the door. Really close. And they try to look inside. And put their hands around their eyes close to the glass door. And the frown and the mumble. And IF you crack the door open for a brief moment to let in a belated colleague, they try to squeeze in, pushing with their elbows and shoulders. And you desperately push the door close while telling them "we are not open yet", and they look at you with this really disturbed look "I WANNA SHOP BITCH" ... or else known as: "BRAAAAIIINS"
These are the same people who don't take no for an answer at the register. When you tell them "no you can not buy this and come get it in two days", "no I can't lower the price on this dress because it looks dirty, it is a second hand dress this is how you'll get it", "no I can not lower the price on anything", "no I can't take things back", "yes bitch you have to buy the fucking plastic bag, it costs one fucking crown you fucking cunt" (well that's what I think not what I say), "no I don't feel sorry for you cause you paid 45kr for this dress and now you want to return it cause it does not fit, you should have tried it first"
And people insisting on telling me their problems and excuses. As if it would change the verdict. RULES bitches, I will not bend the rules for any mother fucker. And I told this to a lady who broke my balls for about 20 minutes. I told her "there are NO exceptions" I must have told her this 10 times, since she did not understand anything else and kept on telling me about her hip replacement."There are NO exceptions" And in the end she said "You would be really good in the military. Poor soldiers under your command. And Oh I feel sorry for the man that lies in your bed"
That's right bitch, keep on moving. Or ... keep on limping ... I wanted to tell her that the man in my bed sleeps with a big smile in his face every night, when was the last time you made someone cum? If EVER. But maybe that was rather inappropriate. So I just said: There are no exceptions (haha)

Of course I make exceptions. But ONLY to those who don't ask.
It's funny like that, no?

Now I saw the time. I must go. I go a bit later at work today. I will face some extra special Zombies today since it is delivery day :) Oh happy happy joy joy :D

Oh and baby ... we will make it ... you just have to ask the question(s) at the right time;)

Wink wink

Tags: dear diary, work, zombie

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