Alexandra Norrskèn (N.S.) (lantichristo) wrote,
Alexandra Norrskèn (N.S.)

time on my hands ...

Off from work for a third day.
I am going insane.
I don't have the mind to concentrate and read, write or make music.
And don't have the strength to go out and take pictures.
I have a stupid cold and I'm coughing and I sound like Tom Waits on drag.
I want do get drunk and chat with my friend(s).
Impossible though since I am most probably highly contagious right now.
Stupid cold in the middle of the blasted summer.
And where are you?
I need to find you again
you need to find you again
I am talking about you ...
ruthless and savage
hateful and loving
here yet absent
so many years without you
I lost you somewhere between what might have been, could have been and should have been ...
Got comfy in a coffin of a life that never existed ...
a life that was only imagined ...
manufactured in the head of a lost soul ...
You know you have to put a stop to this
this death you are surrounded with
this circle of shit
Life is good
better than ever
it can only get better
I am blessed
and happy
even when I'm sad I'm happy
you deserve the same
you always have
the rest is so trivial now
we are running out of time
and I ... have a hug to attend to ...
for the rest of my life  ...
or so it seems ...

A bit off track here ... I miss my baby ...
He was supposed to come and see me today but I prefer not to give him my cold ...
Such a shame ... I had plans ... *smile*
But not to worry ...  We are heading towards a great summer ...

P.S. Can't stop dreaming of the road trip to America :D

Tags: dear diary

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