Alexandra Norrskèn (N.S.) (lantichristo) wrote,
Alexandra Norrskèn (N.S.)

Since you’ve been gone

Since you’ve been gone I moved in with my boyfriend, learnt another language and rode a watercoaster. It was scary. All of it.

Since you’ve been gone I’ve colored my long black hair … blond. Then red. Then blond again. Then I took the scissors one day and cut it all really short and bleached it almost white. Then red again. Now I’m thinking of growing it back.

Since you’ve been gone I’ve written about 7 to 8 thousand verses. Some about you.

Since you’ve been gone I’ve been riding my bicycle until my sister took it. Then I remembered how much I love swimming, especially in the winter. I used the sauna quite a few times in the beginning but I quickly grew tired of it. Then I didn’t have the money for the fancy pools anymore and I refuse to go to a small crowded pool. So I’ve quit smoking and running became a regular activity for me. It is for free. Not to mention cathartic.

Since you’ve been gone I began enjoying the sunlight and warm afternoons. I started drinking red wine and got into Ale tasting. I learnt how to cook. Very well I might add. I’ve initiated into gardening and restored my interest to collecting rocks. I started learning German again. And quit … again.

Since you’ve been gone I’ve talked to 3 strangers. One of them was yesterday and I’m trying to forget all about it.

Since you've been gone I have fallen in love once and have lied to you once.

Since you’ve been gone I’ve stopped learning Spanish. I saw no point to it anymore. I haven’t seen Manu Chao again. I don’t know if I could handle it. He has covered, yet another of his old tracks. It’s getting tedious.

Since you’ve been gone I played pool once too many times with the dudes. I suddenly just stopped. Maybe the fact that I quit smoking has something to do with it. Playing pool, drinking and chain-smoking was a set. I just couldn’t break it. Now that I think of it I haven’t been near a pool table since I've quit smoking. Sad. Then I began to follow snooker championships on TV. Passionately. Then I got bored. Like with most things I feel passionate about ... after a while I get bored ... how on earth am I keeping a 6 year relationship ... only Zeus knows.

Since you’ve been gone I’ve watched about 700 movies. I went to school again, studied designing arts and finished my English classes.

Since you’ve been gone I’ve meet 4 cats and 3 dogs. I don’t own any.

Since you’ve been gone I got engaged in the ruins of a castle in Gotland.

Since you've been gone I've discovered a few new artists. You would adore Voltaire!

Since you've been gone I’ve been making a great effort to keep up with my new hobbies because I lose interest easily if I have to do one thing at a time. And I don’t think I can run all the while taking care of a cactus, polishing a rock and tasting Belgian Ale. Running drunk with a cactus in one hand and a rock in the other … can you draw that picture?

Since you've been gone I’ve become a day person. And gave up
coke. Who would have thought huh?

Since you've been gone my parents realized that I will always be a goth and it is not just a phase anymore. I
will always wear black and if their x-mas lame presents like: sheets, pillowcases or towels, aren’t black, they will always find their way to the trashcan. Because if I didn’t change in my 20s why would I in my 30s?

Since you've been gone I have been more compassionate with my father (He is just an old sad man after all) and my mother had 4 manic episodes, so I though of studying psychiatry, but I grew really weary of it after 4 books about the brain functions in 3 different languages. It took a bit the magic away you know. Everything we say or do have absolutely nothing to do with real desire or real feelings … it is all so … primal.

Since you've been gone I’ve been to the doctor twice. It will be three times in a week from today.
Since you've been gone I’ve had that T-shirt on 4 times. It always reminds me of you and that night. That night that turned into morning, into afternoon, into evening; with no sleep and no food; with lots of coffee and cigarettes. I haven’t had a day like that with anyone. The day you told me everything. Later on that day I slept in your bed. I remember looking at your boots placed nicely by the mirror. I remember your black fluffy dress in the corridor.

Since you've been gone I have seen your face on the street, on TV, in my dreams, so many times; even if I wanted to I couldn’t forget it.
Since you've been gone I have been less and more. And can’t forget to remember your voice.

Since you’ve been gone I haven’t been back.

Since you've been gone I haven’t seen Siouxsie once, and I still haven’t watched the Mylene DVDs you gave me a year before you were gone. It makes me feel that I would have to let you know if I liked them or not and ... you won’t be around to tell you. I remember you told me to watch them and not forget them in some drawer. Now I don’t know if I will ever watch them.

Since you've been gone I’ve become more racist but less angry. I’ve become more friendly but less of a friend.

Since you've been gone I have missed you like no other. Dead or Alive.

Since you've been gone I have been talking to you.

Since you've been gone it has been 5 years, 10 months and 29 days.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t such a hard-core a Nihilist so I could ask you …

What have you been doing since I've been gone?


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